Tech Blog

[#1]

Now that I've got my wedding and honeymoon out of the way, I can finally get back to what's really important: Reviewing movies you'll never watch. 

Usually winter is my favourite time of the year as a film fan. It's when a lot of the best and most interesting movies of the year come out, and I'm usually in the theatre at least a few times a week for 2 months straight. But not this year. Due to me marrying the most wonderful woman in the world, I've been a little busy. But now I'm back, and I'm slowly catching up on all the movies you don't care about my opinion on, starting with the movie I've gotten the most requests about: 

Avatar, directed by James Cameron

I'm going to steal a direct line from David Denby of the New Yorker and say this is the most beautiful movie I've seen in years. It's stunning. The images Cameron's put on screen are like nothing we've ever seen in film, and he's created a world so utterly fantastic and complete that George Lucas is crying in his cantina right about now. This film is so epic that it eats Ben-Hur for breakfast. 

Then why don't I care more? 

It's not like there isn't a story here. It's just that the story and characters are so simple and straight forward that they don't match the complexity of the visuals we see on screen. It's a 1D story for a 3D movie. I don't want to belittle what Cameron has created here. To say that this is "just" a special effects movie does a real disservice to what he's accomplished here. Transformers is "just" a special effects movie; Avatar is a milestone of cinematic achievement. However, Cameron has always been known for his great characters as much as he's known for his visual effects, and while we will be talking about this movie for years to come, I doubt that in a year we'll even remember the plot. 

Rating: A-

The Cove, directed by Louie Psihoyos

Here's what it's about: A group of environmental activists want to stop the dolphin slaughter that is happening in the Japanese city of Taijii. I think that's pretty interesting, and I think that would make a fine movie. However, that's not good enough for the film makers here. It's not enough that you watch this movie. They want you to agree with them, to firmly throw your hat in with their cause, and to truly believe that what's happening in Taiji is the summation of everything that's wrong with present day consumer society. 

They fail miserably. 

This is a documentary, if by documentary you mean a propaganda piece by ideological extremists whose idea of a documentary is to do everything they can to artificially manipulate their audience into agreeing with their goals. The problem is that they prove nothing. Unlike the brilliant Food, Inc. they fail to prove that what is happening in Taijii is really bad for us, as opposed to simply distasteful. When they show surfers talking about the emotional connection they have to magic sea creatures, all they do is to further marginalize their goals. A half-baked attempt at "proving" their case by connecting eating dolphins to mercury poisoning does nothing but prove that they're way out of their league, both as activists and as filmmakers. 

Rating: D

It Might Get Loud, directed by Davis Guggenheim

This is an interesting concept, with the main idea being to take 3 influential guitarists (Jimmy Page, Jack White, and the Edge), and get them into the same room to talk about their influences, and their art. 

The problem is that while all 3 are influential, only 2 are interesting. 

Documentaries only work if you care about the subject matter, and that happens here, but only to a certain point. Both Jack White and Jimmy Page come from very different backgrounds to essentially the same result: They are both VERY good guitar players, and became that way though a lot of hard work and practice. The Edge however, is just  a very good Edge, and he became that way through a lot of hard work and practice. I think. The problem with Edge is that his reputation is based on being unknowable and inscrutable, and the minute he tries to show us how he creates his sound, the mystery disappears, and we realize that he's just another tech-nerd twiddling his amps in his parents basement. He succeeds in his art because of technology, which the other two succeed in spite of it. 

Despite it's flaws in subject matter this is still a must watch for music fans, and entertaining for the most part: 

Rating: C+

Family Guy: Something Something Dark Side, directed by Dominic Polcino

Blue Harvest was a that rare parody that both skewers and caresses it's source material. You could feel the love of Star Wars permeate through every scene. It worked on every level, and was a great addition to both the Family Guy and Star Wars franchises. 

And it should have been left there. Something Something Dark Side is even more unnecessary than Phantom Menace, and not as funny.   

Rating: D

The Princess And The Frog, directed by Ron Clements and John Musker 

The main thing that separates this from a lot of the recent digitally animated films isn't style, it's substance. Animated films these days emphasize laughs first, story second. There are laughs to be had here, but the plot is the most important thing. That's great for a childless film snob, but I'm not sure parents who want to turn their brains off while their kids giggle themselves into a stupor are going to agree with me. 

The problem here is timing. Jon Lasseter did everything he could to inspire Disney to make a Disney movie they way they used to, like Aladdin, the Little Mermaid, or The Lion King. They succeeded admirably, and while Princess is no Aladdin, it's definitely a worthy colleague to something like The Jungle Book or The Rescuers. The only problem is that audiences don't want those movies anymore. They want wise-cracking donkeys and ninja penguins that make hip pop culture references that their kids don't understand. 

Like all the best Disney movies, there's an edginess here that on first glance might be too much for kids to handle, and Keith David's Shadowman takes it's rightful place as one of the best Disney villains of all time. 

Disney is to be commended for making an old fashioned animated musical, in an age where no one really wants them anymore. 

Rating: B+

The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus, directed by Terry Gilliam 

Parnassus is a completely original, daring film, with great visual effects, interesting characters, and talented actors. 

It's also a complete mess and should be avoided at all costs. 

This was one of my most anticipated films of 2009, as I'm always excited to see a new Terry Gilliam movie. He's one of the most original film makers in the biz, and even his stinkers usually have some redeeming qualities. However, that's not true here, and even the talented cast (Christopher Plummer and Tom Waits in particular) can make no sense of the nonsensical half-baked faux-fantasy ideas Gilliam has come up with here. And although this is technically Heath Ledger's last film, Dark Knight would serve you better as a tribute to that late actor's career. 

Rating: D

Broken Embraces, directed by Pedro Almodovar 

Almodovar is not a director that you would think to compare to Terry Gilliam, except that they're both critic's darlings, both haven't made a great movie in a while, and they both just made horrible movies. This is supposed to be a tension-filled drama, but it's sadly lacking in both. There's some beautiful set design here, but neither that nor a naked Penelope Cruz are enough to save this one. 

Rating: D+

Up In The Air, directed by Jason Reitman

After all of the hype, I was pretty much ready to hate this film. So as you can imagine I'm pretty mad to find out not only that this movie is good, but it's that good. Oscar good. It's 4 months away, and Up In The Air is the movie I'm picking to win the Best Picture Oscar this year. I'm not saying it's the best movie to come out this year, but it's got everything Oscar loves, and it's the movie Oscar voters are going to run with. This is a near-perfect script, with some of the best writing I've heard this year. Reitman is getting better with every movie he does, and this film has the making of an instant classic. 

Rating: A